What to do if You Think Your Child is Being Cyberbullied

If you think your child is being cyberbullied, you may experience a range of emotions. Keep the lines of communication open, be alert to changes in your child’s behaviour, and be ready to support them and act.

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Warning signs to look for

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Changes in online habits

• Your child begins to avoid or spends more time using their connected devices.
• They become more secretive about their online activities.
• They receive a lot of new texts, contacts, email addresses, or phone numbers.
• They suddenly delete their social networking profiles and accounts.
• They block one or more numbers or email addresses from their online accounts or email.

Changes in behavior

• Your child avoids conversations that have to do with their online time.
• They avoid school, social situations, and activities with family and friends.
• They begin falling behind in schoolwork or their grades go down.

Emotional, health, and well-being changes

• Your child appears sad, frustrated, impatient, or angry much more than usual.
• They appear upset, withdrawn, or angry after receiving comments, emails, instant messages, or texts.
• They are having trouble sleeping or show less interest in eating.
• In extreme cases, they self-harm or have suicidal thoughts.

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What You Can Do

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Treat cyberbullying seriously while remaining calm. Your child is more likely to open up to you and accept help if you make it clear you are on their side and know what to do. You can take the following steps:

Talk with your child about cyberbullying

• Understand that they may be reluctant to open up. They may feel uncomfortable, ashamed, or afraid.
• If they haven't come to you, try to bring up a story you heard about cyberbullying or ask them open-ended questions about what they may have seen or been worried about.
• If they have come to you, listen calmly. Be your child's advocate without making the situation worse for them, even if they may have done something wrong for the cyberbullying to begin in the first place
• Learn about the extent of the bullying. It may be just a small incident that has already been handled, or it may be something more serious.
• Make it clear that cyberbullying behaviour is not okay.
• Reassure your child that they are not alone, that they are going to be okay, and that you are there to help.
• Avoid blaming your child for being bullied or judging how they've handled things. You should help them feel safe and build up their self-confidence.

Be aware of what your child does online

• Learn what sites your child uses and what accounts they have. Talk with them about what they do online, and who they do it with.
• Keep up to date with the technology. Learn about the connected devices your child is using, which apps and sites they use, and how they use them all.
• Try it yourself. Set up a social media profile, make posts and share content, and play some of their games. You will have a better understanding of what your child is doing and how to talk with them about it.

Set ground rules for your child's online activity

• Insist your child uses privacy settings. Make sure your child knows how to use the privacy settings and how to restrict who sees the messages, images, or videos they post on social media sites and apps.
• Let your child know you may act if there's a reason for concern. Explain it is part of your job as a parent or guardian to keep them safe, and if you feel there's a risk, you may monitor their online communication.
• Educate your children about passwords and how important they are. Encourage them to create different strong passwords for each site and to never share their passwords with friends.
• Make sure they use a password to lock their devices. This will protect them if their mobile device – and what's on it – ever gets into the wrong hands.
• Ask younger children to give you the passwords they use. Let them know you will only ever use them in an emergency. Teenagers are more likely to see this as an invasion of their privacy.

Teach your child how to respond to cyberbullying

• Let your child know that bullies crave attention, and replying to them gives them more power. If your child receives a bullying message, teach them not to engage and not to openly show their emotions with those doing the bullying if your child sees them in person.
• Do not retaliate. It gives the bully the attention they are hoping for – and reinforces the idea that bullying is okay. It is never okay.
• Block the person doing the bullying. This is one of the most effective ways your child can stop cyberbullying early. Most social media sites and email solutions provide ways to block users from your account.
• Encourage them to come to you or another trusted adult if they ever become a target of cyberbullying.
• If the cyberbully is someone that your child knows through school or through an out-of-school group such as a sports team then you should encourage them to talk to the teacher or coach to let them know this is happening, you may have to do this with them or for them if they are not comfortable doing this by themselves. See Report the cyberbullying to your child's school

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Document the cyberbullying

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If possible, have your child show you all the offending emails, texts and phone messages, social media posts, images and videos, and instant messaging history. It is important to record the dates and times of all incidents and save and print screenshots for reporting.

Report the cyberbullying to service providers and social media

Report cyberbullying to your Internet and/or mobile service providers. Most have acceptable use policies in place and encourage reports of cyberbullying. If the bully has an account with the same company, and you can provide evidence of the bullying, they may issue a warning or even a suspension or termination of the bully's account if warnings are ignored.

Most social media sites have established policies and channels for cyberbullying and reporting abusive content, as well as other resources.

• TikTok
• Snapchat
• Instagram
• YouTube
• Facebook
• Tumblr

Report the cyberbullying to your child's school

• Cyberbullying often happens between classmates and other students or it may occur on devices at school, which can disrupt the learning environment. Face-to-face bullying can be happening at the same time.
• Learn who to report cyberbullying to at the school. If you know your child's teacher, you may want to approach them first, or you may want to go to the vice-principal or principal of the school.
• Learn what steps the school and school board take when cyberbullying is reported. Many school boards have a bullying policy too in place. Remember that this isn't a problem the school is responsible for on its own.
• Use the Report It tool to send a secure, anonymous, and confidential message to your school or school district’s safe school coordinator, who will follow up on it right away. You do not have to provide your name unless you want to.

Report the cyberbullying to law enforcement

Do not hesitate to contact your local police authorities should the bullying involve any of these behaviours:

• Making any threats of physical harm or violence.
• Sending and sharing sexually explicit or intimate photos of someone under the age of 18.
• Stalking a victim: where a bully is persistently following or communicating with your child in a harassing way that has them fearing for their safety.
• Using someone else's identity or accounts to facilitate bullying or harassment.

Get help removing sexual images and videos from the internet

You and your child can get help from the Canadian Centre for Child Protection in removing sexual images and videos from the Internet at NeedHelpNow.ca

Get support from a mental health professional

Do not hesitate to seek support from a mental health professional if your child is showing signs of depression, isolation, anxiety, loss of interest in eating or sleeping, or has thoughts or shows any signs of self-harm.